Giorgio Baldi's

After a long hard day of sitting on a couch and watching a TV screen, there's nothing that hits the spot more than food. And not just any food will do. No my friends, I am very specific about my desires: I want delicious food. With this in mind, I set out for Giorgio Baldi's restaurant last night in an effort to satisfy my lust for delectable cuisine.

Now, after hearing great things about this establishment for months, I was a bit surprised to pull up and find it to be little more than a tiny cottage just off the PCH -- I expected a grand building perched on the edge of the water. However, given that I have both an X and a Y chromosome, I wasn't too concerned with the decor. However, even if I had been concerned, a man came and shooed me over to my table while saying things I couldn't understand. As a general rule, whenever I'm shooed by someone I can't understand, I assume it's a good sign, so it would've been okay.


For the meal, we had quite a lovely array of foods, and I'll break them down in a semi chronological order. We started with tuna tartar that was pretty good. I'm not going to say it was mind blowing, but it definitely set the proper tone for the rest of the meal. Light, delicious, and easy to share, much like the veal carpaccio we also sampled. Now, both dishes were delicious, but they confused me a little bit. Who ever had the idea to take nice big pieces of meat, slice them razor thin, and serve them as a little appetizer? It seems to me like some crazy rich person was trying to make sure their baby ate better than normal babies, so they prepared these dishes for their infant.


In between our thinly sliced dished, we had a sampling of various raviolis. If you're thinking some sort of derogatory thought about ravioli I need you to stop right now. The asparagus ravioli was fantastic, as was the lobster ravioli. Absolutely wonderful, like fresh morning dew on a puppy's nose. And those were crap compared to the the sweet corn ravioli. I almost passed out, that's how good the sweet corn ravioli was. It was the greatest thing I would ever taste, until I tried the pumpkin ravioli. If these raviolis were women, the asparagus would've been Marilyn Monroe, the lobster was Cleopatra, and the sweet corn was Helen of Troy. Who was the pumpkin? I have no clue. That level of perfection has yet to be attained. Maybe if Helen of Troy was a gourmet chef and she loved watching football, then she would be pumpkin ravioli.


For the main course, I had a Mediterranean sea bass that was absolutely delicious. I also had the joy of trying a dover sole and some lamb shank. After the tour de force that was the ravioli sampler, you would think I could no longer be impressed by anything the waiter brought out, but that simply was not so. Both fish dishes were cooked to perfection, and the lamb was unlike anything I've ever had. Some sort of mint garnish made it stand out, even amongst all the other goodness. Minty lamb shank? The shear fact that someone even thought of that impresses me. Move over Tyra Banks circa 30 pounds ago, I will now have inappropriate dreams about this meal from now on.


You shouldn't be surprised by now when I say the desserts were also fabulous. Everything we tried was good, but the tiramisu and the lemon sorbet stood out the most. It almost seems too good to be true, after the whole fabulous meal, to have just a perfectly sweet, light desert. To be honest, it reminded me of afternoon sex: unexpected, yet incredibly satisfying.

I know I've been prone to giving over the top reviews before, but ladies and gentlemen I kid you not: this was the best meal I've ever had in my life. Go there, now, and see for yourself. A perfect 10 out of 10 for Giorgio Baldi's.